


vermillion

by kiholove



Series: kinktober [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-23 13:51:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16160219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiholove/pseuds/kiholove
Summary: When he thinks of Hoseok, Kihyun is free.





	vermillion

It’s only inside the comfort of his own mind that Kihyun can truly be free. 

Most of the time, he’s always careful, always watching his words and his actions, all manner of outward behavior, always sure to keep his tightly-guarded secret a secret. But inside his head, inside his imagination, none of that matters, not one bit. 

In his mind, Kihyun can think freely of Hoseok. 

Specifically, he can think of Hoseok’s mouth, Hoseok’s hands, Hoseok’s body. 

Hoseok’s c— 

Kihyun brings a hand to his lips to muffle a soft moan, his half-lidded eyes slipping closed. He’s barely even started; it’s dark and quiet and he’s got one hand down his pants stroking himself slowly through his underwear, the rough fabric providing just the right amount of friction, but he’s already on the edge, about to tumble over before he’s even had any real fun. 

His face is warm, his body is hot and trembling, liquid fire burning low in his belly, and all he’s done is let vague, hazy images flicker through his mind for the past few minutes. No specific scenario, no actions, just Hoseok, just the _thought_ of Hoseok. But then again, just the thought of Hoseok is enough, really. 

He lowers the hand from his mouth, and slides it up underneath his shirt, his palm resting first on his stomach, then moving up his chest as he keeps lazily stroking himself with his other hand. He thinks about Hoseok’s own hands, large and strong and _safe_ , and he rubs his thumb over his hard nipples, one and then the other, a soft stream of sweet, gentle noises spilling from his lips. 

His hand moves across his chest, then down his stomach, and he imagines Hoseok’s mouth, his warm lips, instead, gliding gently, just barely brushing his skin, the contact ghostly but magnificent, like sparks of stinging electricity. His hand goes down and down and down, his other hand finally releasing his length, and then he’s pulling down his underwear to his knees, both of his hands spreading his thighs apart, and he imagines Hoseok slotting between him so perfectly, hovering over him on all fours, the heat of Hoseok’s body, the strength and power it contains, and the feeling of Hoseok’s hard cock pressed against his stomach. 

Oh, and that thought alone has Kihyun nearly finished. He gasps, sucks in a harsh breath, a cold sweat breaking out over his body as a wave of heat moves through him like a lovely caress, like the way Hoseok would hold his thighs apart and stroke the soft, delicate, rosy skin, squeeze it in his hands. 

Kihyun slips one finger past his entrance, imagines it’s Hoseok’s finger instead, and he bites down into his lower lip at the stretch, the wonderful burn of it. He slides his finger in and out, moves it in circles, falls into a rocking motion, a steady rhythm as his hole stretches, until he can finally add a second finger, and the Hoseok in his mind is kissing his face, whispering sweet nothings into his ear, cooing about how beautiful Kihyun is, how gorgeous, how _perfect_ , and Kihyun feels moisture and pressure, the very beginnings of tears filling up his eyes, but not quite. 

And when he adds a third finger, that final bit of stretch, it’s Hoseok’s cock that he’s thinking about, Hoseok’s cock sliding inside of him smooth and wet, so big and thick stretching him to the point of pain, to the point of anguish. But Hoseok, sweet Hoseok goes slow and hovers over him, always protective, always loving as he moves, and the noises he makes, soft grunts, low groans, murmurs of praise, it fills Kihyun with a warmth, a glowing warmth like sunlight that melts away any discomfort bit by bit, like waking from a terrible nightmare and finding yourself safe and warm in your bed. Safe and warm in Hoseok’s arms, Kihyun imagines. 

Kihyun finger-fucks himself with his other hand moving back to rest on his stomach, then up to his chest, the feeling of his frantically beating heart like what he imagines music to be, if it were a tangible thing, and he can almost feel the weight of Hoseok’s body, the power of Hoseok’s thrusts as Hoseok would fuck him, how Kihyun’s body would take him in wet and slick, warm, vibrating, quivering all over, how Hoseok would hit Kihyun deeper and harder each time, until Kihyun’s mind would only be vibrant, glittering colors, and then only pure, white light. 

And then, he imagines that Hoseok would lean down to kiss him, would mold their lips together, press his tongue into Kihyun’s, moan beautifully into his mouth as they’re pressed chest to chest, and it’s with that thought, the phantom feeling of Hoseok coming inside of him that Kihyun climaxes, just barely muffles a broken scream by turning his face into his pillow as hot pleasure bursts through him, a pleasure he’s never free to feel. 

A pleasure he only has inside his mind, and a pleasure that only Hoseok can give to him. 

He breathes heavily, panting as he comes down, blinking slowly in the aftershocks. The room is still so dark and quiet, and the real Hoseok is sleeping just a few feet away, snoring gently, still fast, fast asleep. And Kihyun is grateful for that, but not because he’s afraid of being caught. 

Hoseok already knows how Kihyun feels. They’ve never talked about it, not directly, but they just have a way of understanding each other. They both know the truth. And they know that it’s mutual, but the cruel reality is that they can never, ever act on it. 

But right now, Kihyun is grateful that Hoseok can sleep, can be free in his dreams, can be free in his own mind just as Kihyun so often is. Kihyun doesn’t want to ever take away Hoseok’s freedom. 

And he hopes that someday, some way, they might be able to share it.

**Author's Note:**

> come find me on twitter @justiceforkiho


End file.
